Ninety-nine percent politeness

We went camping on the May long week-end. Anne took us to her “secret spot” campsite, which was a little piece of wilderness paradise. There was a small rocky beach alongside a fast-flowing river, a backdrop of mountains and, the weather was kind. On our last morning, as we were cleaning and packing up, a man and his dog walked in. I stopped what I was doing and took in his unshaven face, soiled jacket, three silver earrings and his can of coke. I think I said hello when he cheerfully greeted us. Anne didn’t stop washing her plates, as she greeted him and chatted with him, in her characteristic open, friendly manner. I watched the dog sniff around our tents, and then relieve himself on a bush nearby as I continued with my packing and listened to the conversation between Anne and this man. After about 10 minutes, he bid us farewell and left. A little bit later, Anne told me she had been trying to see if the man really had cola in his can, or something stronger, and what did I think. This made me realize and appreciate another one of her life skills. While Anne was open and friendly, she was from the outset assessing him, and the act of conversation was allowing her to gather more information and to judge whether he was harmless or not. I, on the other hand, followed my own automatic response: become very reserved, give maybe one or two monosyllabic replies, and communicate an “I’ll say hello, but that’s it” air so that the person moves on. This has always been my “survival technique”, which I admit, isn’t always effective nor civil. Secondly, Anne’s conversation with this man was so disarming that I was about to offer him a danish to have with his coke (which I never for a second imagined could be anything other than a coke) and if I had, Anne might have had a little seizure as she was during this time also assessing how long it would take to get rid of this man. In the end, all was well, because the man was indeed harmless, and he left, probably with a positive feeling of humanity from his exchange with Anne. Anne also told me that she always felt fairly secure, because she wasn’t alone, and who knows what she(we) would have done if the circumstances were different. But I’d like to remember this: in 99% cases, meeting a stranger is an opportunity to be polite and to show a friendly, human side while quietly assessing and being prepared for the unexpected.


-MO